4 Reasons People Settle For Less & How To Get Past It |

4 Reasons People Settle For Less & How To Get Past It

5 Nov, 2008 Beliefs core beliefs Failure fear Self Esteem

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photo credit: Schlüsselbein2007

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The Origin of Failure

I wanted to share one of my best performing articles from ezinearticles.com. It’s an insightful piece but keep in mind I have no psychology degree and have no idea what I’m talking about other than my own life experiences. Proceed with caution.

Let me share a quote with you buy Woody Allan and see if you get something similar out of it like I did:

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not being very innovative.”

Why would someone not try something innovative? They are content to settle. At least that’s what they have told themselves. There are 4 reasons they really have settled and one of those reasons is where it all branches from. We’ll cover that in a minute.

People can settle in all area’s of their lives. Financially, romantically, emotionally, spiritually etc… Does that make sense? You will find yourself living a life of mediocrity if that’s the case and not really living…it’s more like just existing.

4 Reasons Why People Settle

1. Low self esteem- This is a big one that I struggled with for years. With my childhood abuse I many times wondered why it happened to me and thought myself a victim all the way into adulthood, I struggled with drug abuse and alcohol abuse up into my mid 20’s because of a low self esteem.

As an example when you have a low self esteem you’ll settle for relationships that are less than healthy because you don’t believe you’re worthy of someone or circumstances that are better. Or you won’t start a home based business because you don’t feel you’re a good sales person or not capable.

2. Comfort- Settling because you’re comfortable is a dangerous place. You don’t even feel the negative effects until it’s too late. When you’re comfortable you stop growing and in nature the facts are if you’re not growing you’re dying. You may not see it right away but comfort can be the silent killer.

An example would be someone who takes for granted their partner in a relationship until it’s too late. Or when someone is comfortable at their job and they get laid off. They have no plan B and they have no saved income.

3. Beliefs- If you challenge your current beliefs you’re the minority. I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it many more times. People hold fast to their beliefs. They fear change because that means leaving behind a part of themselves that they believe is their identity. (Which means they would have to challenge their current beliefs.) It’s their belief of what their about they don’t want to lose. They would rather be right than be rich.

Tony Robbins said:

“The strongest desire people have is to be congruent with how they see themselves.”

An example would be, “I’ve tried to do things like this in the past and I’m just not capable, everyone would make fun of me if I failed at it again and just think I’m a loser. Why bother.”

4. Fear- This is the root of settling. If there had to be a grandfather of it all it would be fear. People settle because they are afraid. Afraid of what? They are afraid of failure AND success. Afraid of success in their relationships, business, emotionally or even spiritually.

People will sabotage their happiness because they don’t acknowledge their core beliefs. They don’t challenge those core beliefs. They settle because that’s much easier. Truth is our brains are lazy.

Many times people aren’t even aware of why they are making the choices they are. They just fall victim to their circumstances and chalk it up to bad luck. They have chosen not to live a life of awareness.

That’s not you today by the way. You are now officially are aware.

4 Tools To Overcome Settling

So here are some tools to that I’ve personally used and am currently using to overcome these 4 area’s:

1. Low Self Esteem- Educate yourself as to how you can flex your self esteem muscles. I do it every day now. A great way to do that is through self esteem experts like Joe Rubino. I love his work and it has made me very aware of the area’s I’m to improve on and how I can work on it. I chalk that up to The Self Esteem Book. It’s a great investment into the growth and longevity of your self esteem. You will attract more people of quality because you become more aware that you are a person of quality. (Old Jim Rohn Proverb)

2. Comfort- You’re comfortable because you haven’t acknowledged any new goals! More importantly you haven’t acknowledged any new passions! Your mind is like underwear. Once you stretch it, it doesn’t go back! So let’s stretch it! You can always buy some more! Take some time and write down what you’re passionate about and what is it that you see yourself doing that you’ve never done before.

3. Beliefs- Challenge these. The only way to challenge your beliefs is to choose a life of awareness. Choose not to be a victim of your past experiences. Start living every morning in the now rather than comparing all of your current moments to past beliefs which are all based on incomplete truths anyway. If you have a problem with this area consider identifying your core values which do make up your current beliefs. Re-wire your brain for abundance!

Also the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale” href=”http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470101474%3FSubscriptionId%3D1N9AHEAQ2F6SVD97BE02%26tag%3Dempowerment4l-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D0470101474″ target=”_blank”>Zero Limits by Joe Vitale has seriously given me the tools to challenge my current beliefs and opened many doors emotionally for me.

4. Fear- How do you over come fear? There is only one way. Love. What you fear the most you must love the most. It is there to challenge you. Rise to the occasion or fall victim and live a life of mediocrity. One of my favorite books on this is Beyond Fear by Don Miguel Ruiz. You must learn to embrace fear. Acknowledging it as a moment of awareness that you’re bumping up against old beliefs that are completely open to being challenged. What doors will be opened? What new experiences and joys will you have? You must always grow or know you’re dying.

People fear what stretches them the most. John C. Maxwell said:

“People are like rubber bands, they are most effective when they are stretched.”

If you have a rubber band laying around what is it’s purpose?

That sums it up right there. Are you stretching? Have you settled somewhere in your life? Emotionally, spiritually or in a relationship?

Live a life well lived by challenging your current beliefs, your current circumstances and more importantly live a life of awareness. Start a new habit of waking up and exercising this part of your mind.

You have no excuses now and anytime you start to become afraid of something get excited. You’re entering into a whole new life experience of self improvement that could bring you and all of those around you love and joy.